#I am very conflicted if I ship them or not ugh

[yeyayeya]

I am so obsessed with Ye Wangxi it is not even funny

I was waiting for the side character to obsess over once I started reading 2HA, and once Ye Wangxi appeared it was all over

Please tell me I get to see Ye Wangxi again in the future (this is to those people that have read 2HA). I want to so badly search up and reblog fanart but I don’t want to get spoiled ugh

[fluffypotatey]

Why "Full Speed Ahead" is the Best Expositional Song

as some of you may have noticed, i am very in love with Epic: the Musical, and i need y'all to know just how great it is. for one, it's the Odyssey in musical form (2 of my favorite things). for another, the lyrics, the musicality, the choices the writer/composer Jorge rivera-Herrans makes are so clever and witty and ingenious and UGH! so good *chef's kiss*

so i could go on for hours (probably days) explaining why each song is beautifully made.

"The Horse & the Infant" is a wonderful opener, sets up the background context since this story's a sequel to the Iliad (basically, a "previously on Homer's epics").

"Just a Man" JFC WHAT A SONG! IT IS SO GOOD! SO HAUNTING T^T a wonderful set up for Odysseus' character and his arc in the story.

"Warrior of the Mind" sets up the relationship between Odysseus and Athena and what their conflict will be.

but i am not here to go on for days about the musical. i am here to go on for (constrained) hours about one song and why, in my opinion, it is one of the best expositional songs i've ever heard.

OK SO BASICALLY

Trojan War is over. They've won. They can go home! the music itself sounds triumphant and ready for adventure. Odysseus even says how marvelous it is that even when the war was cruel, he never lost a single man.

BUT, then we get the whole point of why their on the ship. "Make it back alive to [their] homeland," and it is sung in a more serious tone. the music also shifts and cuts off to really let you know how important this is. Immediately, you know 2 things: Odysseus never lost a man, their great challenge now is to get to Ithaca.

AND THEN, Odysseus sings how the "problem's not the distance," as in the issue won't be sailing, but really what they might meet on the way. And it is sung by the men who interrupt Odysseus (foreshadowing mayhaps :omg: ) to let the audience know that the real obstacle is "what lies inbetween" Troy and Ithaca.

AND THAT'S JUST THE FIRST PART!!!! Already, the audience are given 3 facts: Odysseus and his men cannot wait to go home, Odysseus was successful in not losing a soldier in Troy, trouble lies ahead. Due to well placed tone shifts and musical chords that go from triumphant to foreboding, we get clued in that there's a strong possibility not everyone will make back alive.

Now on to the characters (yeah, we ain't done :3 we are far from done). See, this song does not just set up what kind of story we will be getting, it also introduces you to the characters that will be sailing with Odysseus on this journey. However, these characters are so much more than companions to our dear friend Ody, but we'll touch on that later.

EURYLOCHUS: how he's introduced is just *chefskiss* because he repeats Odysseus's melody, but his lyrics talk about the new issues they are facing (no food). There is loyalty and deference as he speaks to Odysseus (and you feel that because he sings Odysseus's melody), but already, we see those cracks for him to doubt and question his captain. He's unsure where they'd find the food, he's worried about the size of their men since it's a lot of people to look after. And though Odysseus answers him by essentially telling him to observe where the "birds fly" off to, Eurylochus will continue to be doubtful about everything (their food supply, who to trust, etc.)

POLITES: [Baby boy] is introduced with a fucking key change into a major key. How his lyrics are sung so hopeful (note that he's the one to shift the tone and melody of the song, demonstrating just how important he is to Odysseus/the story), and how he's the one to find the island. He's the one who assumes that people might reside there and they could talk to them. Already, we learn how optimistic he is as well as Odysseus's relationship with him is more casual than it was to Eurylochus since he answers back to Polites with his name in the fondest melody ever T^T

AND FINALLY, why are these characters more than just companions to Odysseus? It is because they're a literal personification of Odysseus's internal war with mercy and ruthlessness. The OG heart vs. mind!

I will explain.

Eurylochus is Odysseus's remnant of the Trojan War since what they would do while at Troy to get food and survive was raid villages, be brutal, fight fire with fire. The mindset of the war has not left him, nor has it left Odysseus because Eurylochus is that part of Odysseus that has not shook off the old habit of ruthlessness. It does not help that the last act Odysseus made in Troy was kill Hector's infant child soooooooo....

Polites is the more merciful side of Odysseus. The side that wishes to approach things (with Open Arms) more diplomatically and peacefully rather than with force. We even see this side pop out during "The Horse and the Infant" when he is trying to find other options that would spare Astyanax from the fate the gods are pushing on both him and the child.

By the end of the Trojan War, Odysseus is tired of it. This war was 10 years long. He wishes to go home to his tiny island and kingdom and reunite with his family. He is done with war. However, despite leaving troy and desiring to escape the horrors he's seen, Odysseus will find himself not only in conflict with the monsters that lie between him and Ithaca, but the conflict of his wartorn-self and his merciful one.

-

and that, my friends, is why i love this song so much. everything about it is just so carefully chosen in the best way, and i love it.

go listen to Epic: the Musical

[gravitydefyingtears]

(Justice in the Dark / Guang Yuan / Mo Du Live Action first impression…)

I was planning to wait for more episodes to air before binging but alas my self-control is non-existent so I’ve watched all 8 eps that are out. Disclaimer, I only listened to the audio drama and haven’t read the novel yet which I hope to correct sometime in the future. And obviously these are my own personal opinions.

Pros

Good acting! Good chemistry between main cast!

I like the aesthetics! (and I know nothing about cinematography etc. but I have nothing bad to say about this aspect)

Is following the original plot MUCH closer than I expected!

Lang Qiao (now Lan Qiao)! I love her.

Tao Ran (now Tao Ze)! Cute!

Cons…?

So that whole thing about genetic predisposition for crime…when that intro popped up, I was like “oh NO” buuut so far, I think I see what they’re trying to do with that and hope they can pull it off well.

The name changes. I guess it was for c*nsorship reasons that I don’t fully understand. I’m conflicted about this but it’s not preventing me from enjoying the show.

Weird inconsistent audio quality, i.e., you can hear when they dubbed over some parts and there is an obvious change between one line and the next. Not uncommon in cdramas but ugh. Though I do appreciate the main actors using their own voices.

So far, I like the dynamic between the main pair. However, I am not feeling any romantic chemistry and don’t feel any urge to ship them. Will have to wait and see if this changes as their relationship also develops.

Yeah, so I saw mostly negative reactions from both the EN and CN fandoms which is not surprising. After watching, I hope minds are changed? People were joking/complaining about it turning into a “sci-fi” but this is not the case?? There are no sci-fi elements…unless I’m missing something… It’s just that they’ve done that AU thing a la Guardian but it’s much more innocuous than Guardian’s fantasy to sci-fi lol.

And the name change thing… On one side, you might consider this disrespectful to the author and original material. On the other hand, if novel fans prefer more separation between the novel and drama, this may be a good thing? Like if someone says Pei Su and Luo Weizhao, you know they’re talking about the drama and not the novel. Tbh I see the benefit of that, especially if there are some more major changes in plot later on…

Anyway, I hope the drama can keep up a good quality so I can enjoy it as a crime mystery show, at the very least. It probably helps that I have low expectations for the romance aspects so I will just wait and see how far they will go with that.

[bloomboxygo]

I'm curious to see how you feel about Yuya given, uh, everything. But I know that might be a bit frightening so feel free to do either Sora or Serena instead!

Well, first question and I already have a slammer on my hands. Can't say I didn't ask for this one, so it's best I get these thoughts out on Yuya. Later on I might do the other two. Get ready. Also spoiler warning.

General opinion/How much I care about them: Yuya's a character I found frustrating as the show went on, but it's not his fault. Amongst all the characters with missed potential, Yuya's one of the very few ones who felt complete, with the initial shut-ins, insecurities, and bullying building him up to life his own life and make his mark on the world how he knows best: making people smile with his Entertainment Dueling. And in the Miami Championship, he really started to come on its own and actually impressed me. Another thing that impressed me was the Z-ARC foreshadowing: regardless of execution, you cannot say they didn't have that idea at the start, or at least the core of it. Sure, the road was bumpy (learning the same lesson over and over? Common and overused complaint, but I can't disagree with it) but it did lead to a complete character at least, which I do find endearing at the core. It's the world around him later on that becomes the frustrating part. Especially the post Z-ARC part, it felt like the world itself bent to Yuya's goals, like the whole world will be destroyed if Yuya doesn't get his girl, like... Ugh. AGAIN, he's not entirely at fault for that. I do care for him and wish him very well (despite the frustrations) and proper, thorough therapy. Also for his mindmates. Also... I don't have a strong opinion on Berserk Yuya. It's... A berserk form that always wins. I already know what's the outcome.

A ship I love: Eh... Not much of a shipper myself, but... Fruitshipping is fine, valid and canon, but frustrating because of reasons above which I also explained in my "Yuzu's Exhaustive, Exhausting Elegy". Again, not Yuya's fault here but Yuzu kind of destroying her own self for him just in a writing sense doesn't sit well for me. Even still, they have a fun dynamic and the support they show each other (even while separated by plot) is very much welcome.

A non-romantic relationship that I love: Aight, no complaints with this one YUYA | GONGENZAKA (sorry, don't remember the shipping name). What a fun dynamic the two have together, it's more than clear that they're besties and Gongenzaka's had a huge hand in supporting Yuya as well. There isn't much depth, but it's wholesome and solid the whole way through. I also really like the concept of two best friends having totally opposite Dueling styles, and in some way or another, approaching and learning more about each other's style (though Yuya learning the Heavystrong style was entirely out of my mind, and perhaps someone else's in a fanfic. The opposite happened though.)

The NOTP: Once again, no strong opinions on that one. If I find it weird enough, I'm simply not going to bother with it. I don't really have one that sticks out to me.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: If I ever get the willpower and knowledge to properly write such a concept, a Spirit World fic when Yuya and Gongenzaka end up being Superheavy Samurai Prodigy Wakaushi and Brave Masurawo respectively would be great. Already shared an idea, IIRC, of these two things being statues that the Superheavies built in honor of their Master and his best friend.

Something that makes me think of them:

You weirdos.

More specifically, the people in the ARC-V fandom. Whenever I see all these super excited posts about the world and characters that the show offered, I can't help but feel your love for Yuya. Like... It seems everyone loves Yuya in this fandom and I can't help but feel like a bit of an outcast sometimes, considering how conflicted I am on him. I don't want to deny you of any fun. I know you're having the time of your lives with a show that gave me headaches, and while I still get shivers from time to time regarding my own experience... Thanks to you, I learned to bear it and make something positive out of it all. Perhaps not letting anyone hinder you, and encouraging yourself to make your own mark and make people happy, is what makes me think of Yuya, so you guys are a part of that.

I know I've mostly shifted to Radiant Dawn these days (Micaiah has claimed my mind with all her woes, and Tibarn with his Stone Cold entrances, and I just want to understand it all), but thanks for making me having a wonderful time here.

[hyperfixationtimego]

idk if you're still answering asks but you're the top blog in the shinguuji tag. ship opinions? What are your favorites?

:0 AYO???? that’s wild dude fuck yeah

and euehuehuehuehueheu oh buddy. i’m literally the most annoying person in the world when it comes to ships, thank you for asking ❤️

Ships I Like:

• Shinouma (Kokichi x Korekiyo) - holds these guys up to you and swings them around like pathetic little ferrets. the idea of them together is so funny and sweet to me. like - the struggle for dominance between them would be SO real…… Kokichi constantly bugs him ‘cause he wants Kiyo’s attention…….Kiyo tells him stories, and Kokichi pretends not to be interested, but really he’s sitting there listening to every word like 👁️👁️…… Ugh okay just THINK of all the possibilities for smarmy little quips and back-and-forth dialogue between them!!!!! they’d be INSUFFERABLE AND I ADORE THEM IMMENSELY!!!!

• Momoguji (Kaito x Korekiyo) - 👉👈 what if I put my two favorite v3 characters into a ship and then never shut up about it forever and ever and ever??? no listen to me they’re so good. Kaito initially overlooks him because he’s more drawn to classmates like Kaede, Shuichi, & Maki, but once he gets to know him a little more…….GOD. Kiyo saying one (1) thing that makes the alarm bells in Kaito’s head go off and the astronaut is straight up just “WELP. TIME TO ADOPT ANOTHER EMO.” and then he does <3 Kaito wanting to save him……Kiyo not realizing he needs to be saved, but secretly wanting it anyway…….oh they make me absolutely INSANE. and also just - the idea of Kiyo wanting to take away Kaito’s pain, too. Kaito is so selfless and loves people with his whole heart, and Kiyo just wishes he could be half as kind as Kaito is………plus there’s the idea of kiyo already being accustomed to loving (or, well, “loving”) someone with terminal illness which can make for some VERY good angst potential and trauma re-triggering ehehehe

• Kiyoumota (Kokichi x Korekiyo x Kaito) - LISTEN TO MEEEE they’re great on their own but TOGETHER????? oh I am SO WEAK!!!!!! the love the love the love - the complication of it all, the everpresent conflict and comfort from both sides, a constant quarreling from a place of softness and adoration and vulnerability!!!!! it is a PERFECT BALANCE, I tell you!!! Korekiyo mediates arguments between Kokichi and Kaito so that they don’t accidentally go too far (insert auspistice joke here I guess. ….sorry), Kaito uplifts Kokichi’s & Kiyo’s spirits by making them both see how wanted they are and how much he loves them, how strong they both really are……and Kokichi is the grounding force, the one that keeps the bad thoughts from spiraling and going too far, the one who will distract, who doesn’t mind making his lovers upset with him so long as it means he can take away the pain and numb it for a little while. oh anon, when I tell you I ABSOLUTELY LOVE them!!!!!!!!!

• Korekuwata (Korekiyo x Leon) - ……I don’t have an excuse this is just me being insufferable sorry. I love these two because I am insane and they’re both my favorite little guys. I can see them sorta trauma bonding and just becoming such important people in the other one’s life because like……opposites attract kinda deal, y’know? like. Leon is so passionate, so fiery - but still sweet, still helpful; would want to make his presence known if there was something he could help resolve. And Kiyo is so thoughtful and can push his own emotions aside to rationalize the possible outcomes of a situation, can calm someone down if he cares for them enough…….listen I just think they’d enjoy each other’s company and everyone around them would just kinda be like “hey what the fuck”

• Korekiyo x Nagito - UM!!!!!! hi I’m insane. they read books together and love it when the other one rambles or infodumps to them <3 they’re both astounded that the other one can have such a negative self-image because all they can see is someone truly beautiful, someone brimming with hope, someone worthy of so much more love than they could ever ever give!!! they are kissing and making out sloppy style and conducting social experiments on their peers thank u for coming to my ted talk

• Korekiyo x Byakuya - these two are just. kissing with tongue I think. like. Korekiyo badgers him with anthropological questions and moral quandaries and Byakuya just. [grabs him by the collar] “stop being so pretty before I bring hell down upon you so help me GOD.” and Kiyo just thinks it’s funny and finds it flattering. like ough listen Kiyo would want to study him soooooo bad. and Byakuya would find him tolerable, because at least he’s well-read and understands the concept of personal space JSVSNDNDN and. just. they both repress themselves so much that I think at some point it just boils over and they end up sticking their tongues down each other’s throats.

• Fujiguji (Chihiro x Korekiyo) - genderweird couple my beloved ❤️

• Ryoma x Korekiyo - something something lonely people something something outcasts of society finding solace with one another (also. korekiyo has cat vibes. tell me I’m wrong I DARE you. Ryoma would get to know his stupid ass and be like “ohhhh I get it now. goddamn it. son of a bitch.” and has to resist the urge to pet him whenever he’s given any sort of height advantage or anything teehee)

• Kazukiyo (Kazuichi x Korekiyo) - I took part in one (1) danganronpa roleplay server and this relationship ended up budding…….i was not normal about it then and I am still not normal about it now <3

Ships I’m Neutral Towards:

• Shinsai (Korekiyo x Shuichi) - eh. just not my thing, I think. plus, I have other ships for both of them that I heavily prefer, which might be a factor in why it’s so ‘meh’ for me.

• Korekiibo (Korekiyo x Kiibo) - I find myself wanting to like this ship more than I actually do tbh?? like. I feel like there’s so much potential here. but tbh I have a bit of a difficult time connecting with Kiibo as a character anyway, so maybe that’s why it’s not a huge pull for me?

• Tanakiyo (Gundham x Korekiyo) - ok. this one’s growing on me I think. the little art that this ship has is absolutely BANGER. I think it’s just difficult for me to picture a scenario in which they’d actually like………interact with one another or develop feelings. then again……..kiyo wanting to study the strange and silly occult dude who speaks in riddles and tells everyone he’s from hell………👀

• Gontaguuji (Gonta x Korekiyo) - I used to be obsessed with these two actually <3 not super sure why I’m not as into it anymore? Guessing my tastes have just changed :p

Ships I Hate/Dislike:

• Kirukiyo (Kirumi x Korekiyo) - conflicts with my personal headcanons for the characters; just not my thing.

• Amaguji (Rantaro x Korekiyo) - hooooo boy I can already tell I’m gonna get a lot of flak for this one. it makes me ridiculously uncomfortable. The only two interactions that come to mind when I think of these two in-game is the one where Rantaro tells Kaede that Kiyo “isn’t that bad” once you get to know him a bit, which is fine, and then also the……….*shudders* UTDP interaction between them. y’know, the one where they talk about their sisters together 💀 I just find it reallllyyyyyy sus and I do not like the idea of rantaro’s relationship with his sisters being compared in any way, shape, or form to the literal incestuous rape and grooming that is Kiyo’s shitshow of a backstory.

• Shinnaga (Angie x Korekiyo) - another cold ass take I know, but. they literally do not even like each other as friends in-game. Kiyo’s smart enough to know what she’s up to, and Angie’s smart enough to be able to recognize that from a mile away - he wants to study her, but she knows it would be dangerous for her credibility, so she refuses to allow him to worship with her for the sake of research. She intentionally closes herself off from him and becomes guarded, wary - it’s not this cutesy, hanging-off-his-arm-and-annoying-him type relationship that fanon seems to have built up out of nowhere for them; they legitimately regard one another as a threat. Also, I’m just not a huge fan of killer/victim ships in the first place?? Like, yeah, I’ve got a few exceptions, but. these two are on the same level as Leosaya and Bandaid for me (which is to say, absolutely despised).

• Genocide Jill x Korekiyo - I mean. Do I really have to spell it out?? These are probably the two characters with the worst writing of the entire franchise, deliberately portraying marginalized groups as serial killers, and yet some people apparently????? ship them together??????? and make them a fucking serial killer tagteam power couple???????? literally fuck OFF I cannot trust ANYONE who can enjoy this ship with the canon characterizations

• Sister x Korekiyo - this isn’t even a ship it’s just incestuous grooming and abuse. like listen - it’s great to write fucked up content and all, but if you’re portraying them as being in a healthy, loving relationship and you don’t want to acknowledge the ugly reality of it then I truly do hate you with every fiber of my being and, once again, cannot trust you at all.

[aesthetic-uni]

While everyone else is watching season 4 of Lego Monkie Kid, which just released in dub version, I am watching THE VERY BEGINNING

Yeah I just started Lego Monkie Kid, and I very much regret not starting it sooner, and I wish I had heard about it sooner. Oh well, better late than never I suppose

I don’t know if I’ll review all the episodes, but I’ll at least review A Hero Is Born

First off let me rave about the animation: This is amazing. I haven’t watched anything else lego-wise, so I don’t know if it’s usual for them to have stellar animation, but this is literally some of the most amazing animation I have ever seen-and I have seen a lot of animation. It’s just, every single scene is so fluid and fun, and the scenes where they are not are stylized to be fun gags that perfectly display the emotions of the characters. And even if the animation wasn’t amazing, the way they have built (hehe) this Lego world is so beautiful. Everything looks so gorgeous and has this absolutely beautiful stylized look that I would say is on par with Spiderverse and Puss In Boots. In case I’m not clear, I’m just saying that how they design everything fits so perfectly when thinking about the media they actually come from. Like yeah this is how I would think a Lego world would look like! And oh my god the colors! They so bright and fun and work perfectly when you consider almost everyone in this world is yellow! It’s just such a beautiful show to look at! I haven’t seen the whole thing but I have to say right now, one of my favorite scenes is just MK delivering noodles and driving around this city, ugh I love it.

Okay so let’s start with the characters: I really enjoyed them all! I loved Mei so much,and I’ve only heard good things about her so I can’t wait to see more of her! Red Son was a fantastic funny villain, while I did enjoy his parents as more serious villains. I think I prefer Princess Iron Fan as a villain, she just seems a bit more grounded and serious compared to DBK who’s kinda over the top (like father like son!), but who knows maybe that will change. PIGSY AND TANG!!! I fucking adored them. Already I ship them, but every scene I see them I can’t help but think of their counterparts and laugh at how not them they are acting. And yeah, I absolutely love Dadsy, he cares so much for MK in this one episode and you can tell. And for Sandy, he’s adorable obviously but I just want to see him snap. I don’t know why but I really just want to see him fucking destroy something. I’m really disappointed I didn’t get to see much of Sun Wukong. Like I know it’s MK story but I’ve seen so much stuff of Sun Wukong I want to him to be here already dammit! Also yeah he’s definitely hiding more than he’s letting on. Now to MK! I love him. This is MY son and EVERYONE is required to be nice to him! He’s just a fun character, he reacts to things in such a normal way I absolutely love it. I can’t wait to see more of him.

Also, this episode was just hilarious. I loved all the jokes and visual gags. My favorite joke has to be during the race scene when Red Son pulls out the motorcycle and is like “You think I would build just one car!” AND HOLDS UP LEGO INSTRUCTIONS LMAO

Plot was, basic. The only thing I found really compelling was Princess Iron Fan, I’m not going to lie. I didn’t dislike it, it’s just a standard pilot plot so I didn’t care for it. I think I liked the first half more than the second half, because after Bull Demon King gets his armor, everything just goes so fast that I stopped really caring.

Now, my main problem with the episode is just, it was so incredibly rushed. Which listen I get it I do! It’s only one hour and they have to introduce the main conflict, introduce the whole cast, actually get the main conflict, actually get the resolution, and solve the main conflict. That’s hard to do with full length films, of course it’s going to be rushed. But, it did make it less enjoyable for me. I don’t know maybe it’s just a me thing, but I hope as I watch the seasons they’re able to slow down the story a lot more. Also, yes I know it’s a Lego show, but my god did they put so many obvious “we made this in order to make a toy” scenes! I get they have to sell toys but there was just way too many for one episodes. I hope they’re at least spread out in the next season.

And that’s my review! Sorry it’s not very put together, I was mostly just writing down whatever came to my mind about the episode. I might do season by season reviews, or a few episodes at a time. Either way I think this show might be a new favorite of mine and I’m excited where to go!

Also a few things: I don’t care for spoilers, and I have actively spoiled myself with this show. I also joined the fandom way before I even watched the show. You guys just make way too cool fanarts and edits Dammit! Anyway I don’t care if you spoil me in the comments lol, I probably won’t even realize what you are talking about until I get to that scene so, it’s all good

[memurfevur-archive]

I apologize for the transformer theory dump

bro dont worry i am making the biggest sparkly eyes!

i suppose for the energon thing im sort of looking at TF Prime and some of the live action movies, where there were/are energon deposits in the earth.

it would be VERY interesting if trolls had discovered it and started using it for their things, mostly like ships and drones and stuff like that. i saw Rise of the Beasts last night so I guess I'm sort of incorporating a thought of 'the energon can be activated so what if its relatively unknown before it gets activated?' like maybe cybertronians would just recognize it best. its literally their life, between weapons and commerce and being tiny units of what makes up their sparks lol

yeah alternia probably is not a good place for autobot mentality except for some rebels and even then, yikes lol. factions like Star Seekers would probably do okay with Alternian ideals though

though now im thinking, perhaps there's a more neutrally aligned group of cybertronians on alternia? not all preachy on peace like autobots but not entirely corrupt with power like decepticons. stuck on the planet with no way home maybe they gotta make an unlikely alliance of sorts or the empire would eat them up, using their parts and sparks to further the empire's control. your point on metal suits is hella fascinating i love me some good fucked up lab experiments sdgfsdgfsd also imagine if Trolls found out how to do stuff like raising the dead more efficiently through energon/dark energon, sort of like what we see in Prime (people with necromancing trolls aside). imagine trolls being able to rise Drones up from the dead again and again and again even within the midst of battle, even more so if they somehow managed to make cybertronians into weaponized suits.

alternatively it may also be fun to think about Cybertron and Alternia possibly being at war. that kind of narrative might actually make some things easier, like why some cybertronians would be on alternia in the first place, why trolls might be aware of them and fight them, the conflicts between factions, etc.

though tbh i absolutely love the thought of a maximal/predacon or dinobot or something accidentally adopting a troll because their disguised form is some sort of animal/monster thing and trolls could mistake that for a lusus LOL its just funny to me

ugh now im kind of wanting some TF easter eggs in my homestuck sandbox o+< i think out of anything, energon deposits could be on Alternia. that could explain the evolution of [classic/helmsman] psionics, actually.

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 Rewatch 2023 1.09

Unity Day

I gotta catch up. I'm gonna watch this one, no editing, we post like men. And then make some lasagne, and while my food is in the oven, I will watch 1.10

My typing is a MESS. And I think i lost some of my trains of thought. Like I feared, season 7 affects all the others, because we know have a context for what the struggle all means. It's hard to forget that. sigh.

Delinquents watching Jaha go on nd on about Unity Day and telling everyone they're on the groundf. Miller: after we did all the work. Raven is a bit snotty. And Finn is saying Unity Day is a lie. The ark only came together after the thirteenth station was blown out of the sky. We know why that happened now. That's kind of cool

Monty makes Moonshine. Jasper calls it UnityJuice

On the Ark. Diana Sydney is being catty and evil to Abby about the council seat and now is annoyed because he cut his words short. Because she's blowing up the unity celebration. I always hate Diana SydneyAnd Vera Kane is being blown off by Kane a mere few minutes before she is blown up.

Okay. I apologize. That was tasteless.

Oh that's a lot of blood. Gruesome. Maybe they think it's doable because of the dark gray tone to the ark scenes. You can't see the vivd red. Now Kane gives his mom the travelers blessing. He's had a rough few days.

And it's about to get worse. Poor Kane. He really is about to have an extremely bad time.

They just figured out that Sydney did it. Diana Sydney is willing to let people die and steal the Exodus ship because she thinks it's ok to

BEST UNITY DAY EVER. Bellamy and Clarke having a celebration he tells her to have a drink. have more than one. He's happy because he's been pardoned. All that guilt and anxiety goes away.

Their little light flirting. I wouldn't call it hardcore or even implying anything. Sorry is that bellarke sacriledge? They like each other thought.

Raven is again hardcore and kinda violent. She doesn't think the grounders are human. Finn is very empathetic to them. I supposed that's not a terrible Finn trait, but he's still really disapproving of everyone around him which is annoying.

O following a trail of lillies to find Lincoln. I guess this is more the butterfly girl. Lincoln is teaching her to stalk. And to kiss.

I am not finidng their story all that romantic anymore. Despite what the music is telling me. I can't get over his age and her trauma. She doesn't need a boyfriend she needs a therapist.

Finn finds them and gives Lincoln back the knife he stabbed him with. I stabbed you we tortured you. Truce right? I mean i suppose. He's also telling Lincoln about the soldiers coming. That is not wise... knowing what we now know about grounders. They are unrepentantly violent. (this is not a natural state of 'the other' but actually a characteristic the writers designed to cause unending conflict without any hope of peace and which always annoyed the hell out of me)

Diana turns in her mechanic as the bomber. Abby and Kane don't trust her. Wise.

Drunk delinquents. Clarke playing drinking games. Oh look Fox. She dies next season. Finn comes over and ruins Clarke's fun.

Finn has set up a meeting with the grounders.Finn thinks they have a chance to live in peace with the grounders. It's not true. Like I said before they were manufactured to be enemies. you CAN'T make peace with them. Unfortunately. And That is a huge flaw in this show. You keep hoping for them to be rational and human and it ALWAYS returns to them being violent barbarians. Terrible.

Clarke tells Bellamy that Finn set up a meeting, and she's taking Finn's position, she wants to attempt peace, but she wants him to follow and be their backup. Bring guns. Fair.

Aww. Jasper comes in to help Raven with her gunpowder because he was great in chemistry.He talks about his family and asks her about hers. "Nope, just Finn." Ugh. "We all got each other now, right?" Another great story line that went away by the end.

Bellamy wants Jasper to be back up because he's steady and brave in the cave with Lincoln. Raven comes along.

Finn with Clarke always icks me out. "You're sounding more and more like Bellamy," he says to her. His rival. She leaves a trail of nuts for Bell to follow.

The whole class war storyline is a big thing in season 1. Your people and our people. And they break out and lock Kane in the cell.

Aw Sinclair. I love him. People are going to freeze to death in the sections Jaha tells him to evacuate them. They figure out Diana is taking the exodus ship. Abby is hiding and watching. Jiana calls herself Chancellor. Onlly 50% of her people are on the ship. "This exodus ship belongs to all of you, you're the future of the human race and today i'm going to lead you home." She's just like Jaha sacrificing people for her own needs.

Finn and Clarke meetup with O on the bridge. Lincoln hugs her.

Finn grabs Clarkes hand when she backs away.

OMG horses. Clarkie. aww. They are armed. "Hey we said no weapons." Big surprise.

Clarke meets Anya. Hey if she didn't bring backup, Anya would have killed Clarke and The Ark would all have died when they ran out of air and Mount Weather would have gotten out of the mountains.

Anya thinks Clarke started a war. THeir flares blew a village to the ground. She calls them invaders. She says they sent an armed raiding party to capture one of theirs and torture him.

But like. Anya. You impaled Jasper first. Oh yeah. And then you hunted the kids. Oh yeah. And Lincoln kidnapped and chained Octavia. FIRST before Bellamy captured Lincoln.

WHY DO THE GROUNDERS ALWAYS BLAME THEIR VICTIMS FOR STARTING THE WAR WHEN THEY FINALLY STAND UP AND FIGHT BACK. UGh I hate that.

Now I know how it ended, I can't hope for them to change because they never ever do.

Clake is conceding the point. Because she TAKES the blame. Girl. Do you remember what they did to Jasper?

Jaha looks emotionally compromised when he sees Abby on the exodus ship. They haven't dropped that crush on her yet. Abby opens the door from inside. "ABBY!!" Jaha cries in despair as they knock her out. But they have opened the doors and they cant' take off.

Anya is mad they're sending down warriors. Clarke can't promise they will honor the terms she sets with her because she's not in charge.

"Grounder princess looks pissed."

"Our princess has that effect." Great line

Jasper sees someone in the distance with weapons pointed at Clarke.

Is it a hallucination??

No it's not. They're falling from the trees. Bellamy stops Anya from stabbing Clarke. Lincoln steps in front of an arrow to save O.

The deinquents flee.

The dropship hasn't been uncoupled and it will kill everyone on the Ark. "You don't want to be remembered like this."

And she says "I won't be." Rude.

He doesn't take blame like Clarke, blames her for having him shot. But then Sydney tells them that there aren't enough drop ships for everyone.

The drop ship breaks off and things start exploding. Then going dark.

Back to the kids. And they all yell at each other. "You didn't have to trust the grounders. You just had to trust me." Dumb finn.

B. LLike I said. Best unity day ever. C laughs.

Oh look the exodus ship is coming. "Your mom's early."

Wait. Too fast? No parachute? Something's wrong.

KABOOM.

Clarke crumples.

[gentil-minou]

This is a REALLY unpopular opinion, but I actually really loved the break-up in 2521. It felt so realistic and so undramatic. Yes, it made me bawl like a baby, but I also felt it so deep in my bones. I was going through a very difficult phase with my boyfriend when I watched it, and it made me feel validated. Like, couples are allowed to have problems that may seem minor to outsiders, but it can matter so deep to the people involved that it can even lead to a break up. Such perfect depth.

See I wouldn't have minded the ending if it didn't completely go against the characters and their earlier scenes. I agree real couples and breakups have depth and nuances but we should HAVE SEEN THAT IN THE SHOW NOT JUST PRETENDED IT WAS THERE CAUSE THEY TOLD US IT WAS

Like, you're telling me they survived a longer separation when they were kids and weren't even together but then he goes off as adults and is seeing some of the most traumatic things ever and they butcher nhd's character so hard by going "yeah but he needs to pay more attention to ME" even though the foundations of their relationship involved distance and friendship LIKE COME ON. It destroyed their characters, byj WHOSE ENTIRE GOAL WAS TO GET BACK TO HIS LOVED ONES was like "actually I'm gonna stay in this place where I'm miserable because I have to or some bs" and nhd who was one of the sweetest most understanding caring person is like "actually I don't care about your trauma I care about what I want even though I'm the one who travels for work all the time" LIKE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

If they breakup happened for other reasons, or if we had seen more of their relationship falling part and like ah yes they need to breakup its good for them it might have worked but they didn't. Everytime they had am argument about byj's work they made up and moved on. But instead the main issue was miscommunication which I fucking hate in general but it was worse here because THEY ALWAYS COMMUNICATED WELL. EVEN WHEN ALL THEY HAD WAS FUCKING VOICEMAILS THEY COMMUNICATED WELL you cannot tell me they lost that ability by dating no fucking way make it make sense.

Because it didn't fit with their characters and what we knew of them and their relationship, the conflict didn't work for me and thus the breakup felt forced and unnecessary. The last two episodes felt like I was watching an entirely different drama with different characters because thye did not make any sense at all and just ugh

Also the fact that we clearly see both of them are unhappy in their later lives. NHD is always complaining about a shitty absent husband, and she didn't even seem happy when they were newlyweds (wanting a divorce instead come on) like what a sucky way to see it. And BYJ though we don't see much from him he still feels lonely and is a workaholic. The drama didn't give us any closure for them as characters, ans since we watched them grow up and end it with them still being sad and hung up on the other.

If the show had ended with a hopeful open ending, even if they were broken up, I'd feel better about it. Maybe we got to see NHD's husband and see why she married him and that he's good for her. Maybe we'd get to see BYJ with a family of his own or at least some goddamn friends, something to show he healed from that trauma of his nyc stay, idk.

Obviously my ideal ending would have been for them to get back together after a couple years apart and him to have been the dad all along BUT by the end I was okay with the idea that at the very least they can reconnect as friends when they're older. At its core their story was about friendship, and I would have been satisfied if she just like met up with her friends. But no, we don't know what happened to the friends at the end. I don't know if she and bona's character are still friends, if the other two are still married (and THAT was not a realistic romance okay that was bs comparing the two ships and seeing that was the one that lasted was a slap on the face) or whether the smart one whose name i also forgot got to live up to her full potential and be satisfied with her career (i actually liked her working on a variety show it suited her character but also id like to see something). We didnt get to see any of the character grow into people they wanted to be, just hopelessness. It destroyed the main premise that we got from the first 14 episodes. It would have been an easy fic just like a fucking ending shot with her getting a group text from the friend group or contacting byj to meet up and catch up like seriously anything would have been better than seeing her walk off into the distance like "well I can't change my past but i can sure live in it cause my current life sucks)

Not to mention the poor casting choice where older nhd just ended up becoming the most stereotypical ajumma I've seen down to fashion it felt like I was watching some other show. Kim tae ri could have stayed in that role and worn different makeup at least then it would have felt like the same character instead of feeling like it was another drama entirely jfc.

They didn't advertise this drama as a sad one, or at least there was some definite disconnect between the writer and the directors/actors. Even kim tae ri asked the writer to change the ending cause she thought it didn't fit with the story. They changed a lot and it was advertised as a coming of age romance, not the melodrama is became. It just was so incongruous and I hate how it didn't fit with the characters I grew to love.

I'm glad it was cathartic for you but it left me feeling really shitty and hopeless at the end, and that's the feeling I get still when I think about it. It really had the potential to be my favorite drama of all time (something that hasn't changed in nearly a decade since coffee prince for crying out loud) but I can't even think about rewatching it. It's just something I find so unsatisfying.

Plus I hate the message of the story becoming something like "your teens and early 20s are the best years of your life after that it sucks and you just have to be okay with that" like no gtfo. This is a problem across the board in Korea where married women with kids who are miserable just have to be okay with that and I'm sorry I hate it sooooo much. If they just showed that everyone was happy and that their lives were good and importantly THAT THEY STILL HAD EACH OTHER AND FRIENDS it would have told a different story that yes you grow up and change but life doesn't end and you can still go back and be with people who care about you and God I just there was so much wasted potential that they fucked up so bad

[distort-opia]

Can you list out any enemies to lovers ships you’re invested in? It’s great to see we have the same taste. I also love Batjokes, Cherik, LLight, and Hannigram. I’d love to discover more.

All great ships to love! Ah man, my taste in other enemies-to-lovers ships runs from Ye Olde 2012 Tumblr days to Kdramas/Cdramas I would recommend with my dying breath, so I'll just... take you on a journey. Trying to limit myself to ships that lasted a while and for which I read fics for, and almost wrote fics for myself, yet somehow this still got super long (sorry).

But to start with the bigger ones... when it comes to other enemies-to-lovers ships that are well-known and quite big, I am also partial to Obikin (Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker), Silverflint (James Flint and John Silver), Wangxian (Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian), JWDS (Joowon and Dongsik), Thorki (Loki and Thor) and Harrymort (Harry Potter and Voldemort).

Obikin has more of the Cherik & Megop set-up; they had a very close relationship before one of them became the "enemy", ending up on opposite sides of a conflict. Don't know how familiar you are with Star Wars, but the recent Obi-Wan Kenobi show is just... so incredibly shippy. And angsty, and well-written. I fully recommend it. When it comes to Silverflint, it's a bit more complicated. They're not classical nemeses or part of fantastical worlds. It's more like Hannigram, in the sense that they're more grounded, darker. Flint and Silver don't get along, and then they do, and then they don't. It's such a complex, fascinating dynamic, and I recommend watching Black so so much. And man, I also recommend getting into The Untamed or any of its corollaries; the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi is the original, but if you prefer anime, there's also that. Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian (Wangxian) are... complicated, in the sense they're not quite enemies-to-lovers (they never truly hated each other), but they also are, since they definitely were on opposite sides of a conflict and fought each other. The thing about Wangxian and The Untamed is that it's a tragedy at its core, but one that gets a second chance. It's rather unique in that, and heart-wrenching. Then there's JWDS from the Korean show Beyond Evil; it's the ship between Joowon and Dongsik, the main characters. You've got Joowon who literally starts out suspecting his police partner of murder, and Dongsik who's... well. A wreck of a man for multiple reasons, but a manipulative one. Their enemies-to-lovers arc pretty much happens in the show, and it's brain-rot inducing, ugh. Fully recommend it. (If you watch Beyond Evil and like it, tack on The Devil Judge and Strangers from Hell on the list as well. Very Hannigram-like dynamics in these, with Strangers from Hell being... speedrun Hannigram on steroids that's somehow darker.)

Now to get into the last two rather "problematic" ships :)) When it comes to Thorki, I guess it depends on what squicks you. Back in my youth (read: a decade ago) the ship was thriving, and while there were some pearl-clutching voices here and there, they weren't the majority. Now you're likely to get people going "oh my god?? incest??" even though Thor and Loki are not even the same alien race, nevermind of the same blood. You can only call it pseudoincest, since they did grow up together. But hell, even if they were real brothers, it's a fictional pairing that's harming no one; and enough said on this front, before I get annoyed. I loved both characters and their dynamic a lot... up to Thor: Ragnarok and everything since then. No idea how familiar you are with Marvel stuff, but basically the first Thor movie, Thor: The Dark World, and The Avengers (2012) are peak Thorki-- to me. And lastly, to get to Harrymort... [sigh]. Mentioning it because I definitely ship it, but my enjoyment of anything Harry Potter has been poisoned by JKR and recent events. I don't engage much with material anymore, but dammit, the fandom has some incredible novel-length fics that do these characters and their potential more justice than the author ever did. The quality of fic for these two is unbelievable, and I'm basically... a fan of fanon Harrymort, because I could write a whole-ass essay and then two books on top about how JKR completely failed with this dynamic in the books-- and I don't mean in any way romantically, but just as nemeses or parallels supposed to teach a lesson or send a message.

Anyway! My main enemies-to-lovers and most enduring ships are definitely Batjokes, Lawlight, Hannigram and Cherik (in this chronological order of emergence, hah). Out the other ships I mentioned, I most heartily recommend watching Black Sails, Beyond Evil and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Also, maybe you'd enjoy Interview with the Vampire and Loustat, which is very... Hannigram-coded and incredible to watch. And Killing Eve, which hinges on the Villanelle ship? I liked these two shows a lot, although they did not quite activate Hyperfixation Mode in my brain. Perhaps they will for you. If you get into any of these, hope you enjoy <3

[clfixationstation]

all of this. yes.

my only thought is that because straight ships are seen as "normal", Isayama (and many other writers) assume that audiences require less convincing to get behind them and find them believable. Which isn't entirely untrue - there are many m/f ships out there that I've seen straight fans get behind with the bare minimum (from people I've talked to in-person, not just online speculation).

the next assumption writers could be making is that straight couples don't require a high level of understanding and companionship. From my observations, it's unfortunately the case that it's not always expected in straight relationships what do you mean your boyfriend doesn't think you should have rights?? doesn't see you as a full person?? and you still want to marry him???!? girl RUN. It's often (subconsciously) based on the bioessentialist idea that men and women are very different beings with different roles to fulfill, and therefore can never fully understand each other (ugh).

that's why "our worldviews directly conflict and we can't fully understand each other, but we're still drawn together by love and that in itself is an understanding" just isn't compelling to me personally. I've seen it with many canon straight ships in many stories over the years. (to be clear, I am not accusing people who enjoy such ships of being bioessentialist - I do not know the mind of every person)

and then there's yumihisu. Ymir was immediately drawn to Historia because she saw her past self in her, and was determined to empower Historia to live for herself with pride. After a lonely childhood, Historia welcomed Ymir's company and understood that Ymir's abrasive comments betrayed her good heart. Even with the secrets between them, Ymir and Historia had this deep understanding of each other and offered each other compassion and companionship.

and for some of the other ships mentioned in the tags:

1) I didn't pay much attention to reibert, but wdym reiner "having no interest in women" went nowhere?? like?? and Bertholdt liking Annie out of nowhere was kinda funny. 2) kenuri is kind of just. uncontested canon. 3) I never expected eremin to be canon, but the level of understanding and reverence they hold for each other is unparalleled. 4) I actually love aruani, and that's primarily because their relationship is based in understanding and appreciating each other's perspectives; seeing positive qualities in each other that others could not. It could've used more time to cook, but that's my only criticism

#like why did eremin parallel yumihisu and reibert. while eremika was CANONICALLY framed as a parallel to the most toxic horrific relationship

THIS TAG. This is the one that gets me. eremika paralleled Ymir and King Fritz; Mikasa's love bound her to Eren the same way Ymir's love bound her to Fritz. However, Mikasa was able to free herself from the bindings of her love and act for the greater good. By killing Eren, Mikasa freed herself and Ymir. Acting despite all the love she has for Eren, refusing to allow her love to keep her bound - that is what frees Ymir

now, obviously Eren did not treat Mikasa anywhere as badly as Fritz did Ymir. Eren being an ass is NOT equivalent to Fritz's abuse. It's just. That parallel does not indicate to me that eremika is, or could be, a positive relationship. Conversely, I think some people interpret it as eremika's pure and good love showing Ymir what love should be like, in contrast to her relationship to Fritz. While that's a sweet interpretation, I have a difficult time agreeing. Mikasa spent the entire series chasing after Eren, desperately trying to keep her last piece of family alive, living in a perpetual heartache. Eren, on the other hand, hid and stifled his feelings for Mikasa until the end. Where Mikasa always desires to return home, Eren will always run forward towards "freedom". To me, the point of eremika is that it's doomed. It represents the beauty and cruelty that exist simultaneously in the world. While they had love for each other, their relationship was layered in pain all the way through

uhhh I got off-track.

tldr: I hypothesize that m/f ships require less "evidence" to be convincing to audiences because they are the norm. As a result, many m/f ships are written more shallowly than f/f or m/m relationships, whether written as lovers or friends.

why did isayama put his whole pussy into yumihisu after saying he can’t write romance. and then fumble when it came to the straights.

[sagemoderocklee]

2,3,16

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

didnt know you could do this, but yeah this is accurate. i don't like over tagging fics because i think that's what author notes are for--to like make funny jokes and shit, and i will honestly not read a fic if i cant parse through the tags. over tagging just bogs shit down and doesn't tell me the necessary pieces of the fic like genre and tropes used, characters and ships so i dont have a LOT of tags i use so it's not like hard to say that this is accurate. honestly i think the most surprising thing to me is that politics and slow burn don't have more fics tagged with them. but i also know i have a LOT of fics that i've only posted like one chapter of so far, so im sure that'll change whenever i get around to working on those projects again

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

ugh my brain. see if i can think this through.... well i definitely tend to gravitate towards politics and intense emotional conflict. there was a phrase id noticed i tend to use a lot but now i just.. do not remember it.... i wish i could remember cause i had literally been like 'oh this is def one of those things that comes up in fic asks a lot' but for the life of me i dont know now what it was... maybe like comparing gaara's eyes to sea foam and sea glass... but no that's obvious. damn of course i ask for questions and i cant even get my brain to cooperate so i can answer.

uhhhh it was something i pinged on in RtS i think? just this phrase i know i use a lot...

well i cant think of the thing id hit on this week specifically so i guess when it comes to like tropes or details or like metaphors i reuse i def go for lots of things with the heart. big fan of heart metaphors for sure. love to infuse a slight horror vibe into a completely non-horror fic. i think there's a lot of really easy to pick things that i tend to lean into in my fics like obviously worldbuilding is a big thing for me, and i love a plot heavy story around politics. big fan of themes of guilt and forgiveness, death/loss and grief, and i know i tend to revisit a lot of these themes in fics.

wish i could think up a better answer for you rn anon, but i do appreciate the question!

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

generally speaking, i prefer canon set fics but im not averse to an AU if it's done well and i will always be a sucker for a coffee shop AU. i know thats probably super boring and basic, and maybe silly since i worked as a barista for over a decade (well sorta, between quarantine and medical leave there was a lot of time i wasn't actively working, but still)... but yeah i am a sucker for a coffee shop AU always (but god help the person who writes one that isn't accurate to actually working in a coffee shop)

[painonthebrain]

I’m gonna be honest watching everything with @/emmettworld go down is just kinda sad and also makes me. Conflicted?

Idk proship vs anti shit below cut im just . I probably shouldnt be writing anything rn bc my brain isn’t functioning for. Some fucking reason but whatever i do what i want

Like I don’t define myself as proship bc I think the whole pro vs anti thing is like. Ugh I can’t find the words. Idk it’s like.

Like I don’t want to call myself proship because. I have so many friends who will tear me apart for that and itll ruin our relationships and I love them and also I hate like. Having to attribute myself to a “side” but like. I’m completely fine with everything fictional. Yes. I don’t care, as long as it’s properly tagged, warned, etc.

Also I ship stuff like selfcest and clonecest so. Idk I don’t think antis do that.

And anti culture reeks of ew ew ew this (fiction) is gross! It shouldn’t exist AT ALL! And proship culture reeks of oh my god these stupid baby minors this is FICTION. DUH. Youre all beneath me

Anyway I know theres at least one moot i i can think of who has proship dni in their intro and like... if ur reading this. hi. I dont call myself proship but i certainly have some of the beliefs which is why i interact but if you’re uncomfortable u can totally block me like. Im not doing this to be some shady imposter who lurks in the dark i just dont label myself as any of this shit!!

im like. Lowkey terrified of how people are going to react to this post bc im HORRIBLE at using my words rn but like.

Like i just want people to make whatever tf they want to make! It shouldn’t be a person’s problem to “sanitize” themselves! And also fictional characters are quite literally made up people we create to do whatever the fuck we want to them! But also it’s important (in my opinion) to be at least a little critical of what you make. But also you shouldn’t have to file down your expression. But alsO-

Like there are so many factors to well. Factor in when it comes to fiction! And i try so hard to develop my media literacy (even with my underdeveloped baby frontal lobe) every day but even so these topics can be hard to navigate

Anyway yeah no conclusion paragraph because as you can probably tell from my writing. I have no idea what im saying i just feel the need to say something

Idk i just feel like a neurotic prey animal right now like im like.

Ok ok time to get personal guys

I have like MAJOR irrational fears that i am a horrible person like. Almost constantly and pro vs anti discourse makes that shit go fucking WILD. anyway. Yeah i have like this almost fanatic paranoid fear that no matter how hard i try i am a Bad Person and that im like. Metaphorically rotting from the inside and eventually i will expose it to everyone that i am Bad and Awful and Nasty and that even then when everything goes bad ill be completely unaware of my own inherent corruptness and that i will eventually hurt people or whoever i have the capacity to hurt and that things are doomed to fail for me because im such an abhorrent person

Anyway yeah those thoughts are obviously NONSENSICAL because… what??? The fuck????

But then my brain is like ooh yeah lets introduce some fucked up thoughts in here. Intrusive thoughts, if you will. Which all span many nasty awful things that are usually highly morally corrupt and wow I wonder if that ties into all that i said before? Yep it probably does!

Which makes me anxious as hell because then im also convincing myself that those thoughts are real and are my own thoughts and wants. Which FUCKS ME UPPP

So anyway that’s why I don’t label myself as pro or anti because proship makes me feel like im a horrible person who will hurt people and is disgusting and awful (also the intrusive thoughts) and the anti label goes against my very strong beliefs of freedom of creation and expression etc.

Yay rant vent brain barf over!!!!

[letstrywritingmaybe]

This is getting too long and wordy so I’m gonna hide my thoughts under the cut but I’m talking about the most recently uploaded CoAi fic on ao3

The most recently uploaded CoAi fic on ao3 is making me feel a type of way and idk if it’s good or bad… like cool that the author is really a canon shipper? And was able to write for a ship that isn’t one they normally ship (in this case it’s almost the opposite considering we still have ship wars even though it’s 2023 people!)

I was very wary when I decided to take the plunge and read it cause I’ve been burned before and it pissed me off, but I did it to myself so I didn’t leave hateful comments cause again we are in charge of our own fandom experiences. No one forced me to read anything.

Anyways, it wasn’t awful? Like I really expected a lot of bashing towards my queen, but there wasn’t really… it was tagged correctly too like yeah definitely felt the ooc, but like it wasn’t terrible… idk I just don’t know what to make of it. Do I comment??? See this is why I like to keep my fangirling and writing separate, cause it was so much easier just being a reader and not have to deal with also being a fellow writer.

Ugh, idk man, I’m just confused. Cause on the one hand I did not like it enough to comment and I don’t force myself to when I didn’t vibe with it, but on the other I am just so fascinated! Like who are you? And why are you low key in my head?

Cause listen, I have debated with myself back and forth over whether or not to write the canon ship break up album fic (aka red cause that is a breakup album to the max which is why I don’t associate it with CoAi), and obviously I would tag the canon ship and make it clear that I am a CoAi shipper and yeah I would also post it anonymously but solely because I don’t want anything to do with the canon ship to show up on my writing profile. I’m not a multishipper and even if I was it certainly would never include the canon ship, the longer it drags on the more annoyed I get with them. So now that I see someone actually doing basically what I would’ve done but flipped, I’m like… idk man.

It feels weird, but I’m pro self indulgent writing and I know sometimes there are stories you want to tell even if it doesn’t fit your normal narrative. Like you guys will not believe how much I’ve had to push away all the scenes in the red album fic cause I can see it so vividly in my mind and I have it all plotted out in chronological order, literally it would be so easy to write for me. But I don’t do it and this is exactly why!

Like is this overstepping a boundary? I mean it’s weird right? But also who am I to stop someone from writing their story that they felt they had to get out? So then is it really okay for me to do so too… but this is one single fic. Mine would be a collection of 29 (31 if I include eyes open and safe and sound but the original plan did not have those, cause I think hunger games when I hear them) song fics. If I’m feeling weird over one fic from a canon shipper, I can only imagine how weirded out they would feel about me posting a 29 (31?) chaptered fic with the big disclaimer that hey, I’m a CoAi shipper who’s just here again and again.

Look I preach basic fandom etiquette, ship and let ship, stay in your lane. The two most important rules, besides the whole not being a dick rule that everyone should just follow as a general guide in life. Would I be staying in my lane if I did write the red album fic the way I envisioned? Is this why I’m feeling conflicted over this anonymous canon shipper posting their fic? Idk, and there really isn’t a right answer. But it does make me want to reach out and pick their brain, like what courage must you have to do this and to care enough about this story that you had to put out. I applaud you for that, and I’m glad you did it. Cause again I’m all about self indulgent writing, but didn’t it feel awful to write this too?

Cause the big difference between this fic and the one I want to write is that this canon shipper gave CoAi a happy ending. I am not so gracious, red is the ultimate breakup album to me so it will not end well for the canon ship, the last song is literally All Too Well ten minutes version, come on. There’s no way this ends well if this is the song for the last chapter.

But it’s not like I can tag it CoAi when it literally would have almost nothing to do with them. It’s a very Ran centric fic and all about her woes with her doomed romance with her childhood sweetheart. I hate when people tag multiple ships, like yeah I get it cause they’re mentioned and it does talk about them, but I’m not a multi shipper and I strictly read fics for my ship. Specifically ones that end well for them, so I really don’t like clicking onto a fic only to find that my ship doesn’t end up together or worse, the canon ship stays canon.

Again though, it’s my own preference and I don’t go around making it the author’s problem cause it’s their fic. I could’ve clicked out at any point, there’s no need to leave nasty comments or talk shit. Clearly it wasn’t written for me, I can’t appreciate it, I’m not the target audience.

Okay yeah I think I’m leaning towards staying put and not writing my fic. I’ve no doubt I could write it just fine, but who is this for? Me? Cause I don’t even want it since I get so triggered by the canon ship now a days. Case in point look at how long this rant got. Really who would even want to read this fic? One person if I’m lucky, so it’s not worth it. Granted I’ve never cared and still don’t care about who reads my fics. I write primarily for myself, and if just the thought of possibly writing it is stressing me out this much then I should just keep it buried. But it’s always in the back of my mind, just pestering me. Ugh.

Phew okay that was so much projecting, and I don’t even feel any better. This was just a lot of rambling and for basically nothing cause I’ve resolved nothing. Anyways, whoever you are canon shipper author, I’m happy for you. It really is dope that you decided to tell this story even though it’s not your ship. Okay time for sleep now

[broomsticks]

... yeah at this point i'm just using this as a giant draft mountain. #sorry not sorry. future in-charge-of-moving-everything-to-AO3!me is going to be most unhappy with past!me for this, but oh well

more amendments to part 1: i like this log-scaled-y-axis visualization a lot better

omg it's so prettyyyy 😍

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a fun aside --

dropping the top and bottom 20% of fic, exponential trendlines fit the 20th-80th percentile just beautifully, and the 10th-90th percentile noticeably less well but still acceptably.

Snarry, Sevmione, and Drarry have steeper trendlines than most -- meaning that there's a greater spread of fic lengths compared to other ships.

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Was interested in looking at these ship categories in more detail.

first things first: these graphs are based off five data points (25th, 50th, 75th, 90th and 95th percentile +/- 20 fics) and google sheets' "smooth line function" so they're already not the most accurate things, but things start looking especially strange when there are fewer than 400 fics in the sample*

*= ship + otp:true + english + wc>0 + excluding all fandoms except those wrangled as exact synonyms of "Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling". most notably, I excluded the fandoms 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)' & 'Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling'

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looking mainly at longfic, the top 30%--really the top 10%--of fics by word count:

some interesting observations:

that is a very healthy proportion of long HP F/F out there!! Fleurmione, Bellamione, and Cissamione are particularly spoiled for longfic. Despite the relative popularity of Linny and Ginmione, fics tend to be short: 95% of Linny works are <6k and Ginmione <12k. Lightning gen/non-age-gap F/F longfic lovers' best bet is Pansmione, with 10% of fics being longer than 10k, and everything else has too few fics to really get a read on.

AO3 HP F/M fics are noticeably longer than M/M -- and OMG that Draco/OFC and Snape/OFC. WOW talk about unexpected. reminder to self that I previously briefly looked at OC HP fic and this is really worth looking at!!! numbers permitting. I wonder if this trend also turns up in OMC ships, or slash OC (either F/F or M/M), or .. anyone that's not Snape or Draco

M/M works tend to be short compared to the other two ship types. but what is up with Lucius/Harry??!

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looking at the mid range of fics, with log-scaled axis:

In the mid range, Fleurmione and Cissamione are longer than other femslash, Bellamione is a tier down. Linny (and Parvender) are short: a trend of friends-to-lovers lending itself to short oneshots?

relatedly, worth mentioning that fic length broadly correlates with smuttiness too -- this could be related to Linny having such an unusually high % of G-rated fic.

F/M: nothing much to say just from this graph, a problem of too many different dynamics going on to explore this as comprehensively as I'd like. there's Draco het, Hermione het, Harry het, canon compliant ships, 'canon fix-it' ships, friends-to-lovers, death eater x hero, death eater x hero with age gap, mentor-mentee ships… too many to parse and I don't have data for a fraction of the ships I'd like to see to analyze this properly haha.

M/M: Deamus and Ronarry, confirming the trend of friends-to-lovers making for short fic. interestingly not Perciver, they may be dormmates but I guess there's enough potential for conflict in that ship to really dig into!

ugh the latter two graphs are not nearly as readable as the first because too many ships, and yet I don't want to take any of these ships out (in fact I want to add more). am I going to have to do a whole bunch more character-by-character graphs? Harry ships, het/slash/cross gen ship/lightning gen ship/gryffindor ship/slytherin ship. Hermione ships! Draco ships! minor character ships!

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final note to self: when you eventually get around to reposting this on AO3, separate word count percentile analysis & kudos percentile analysis as "what are people writing" & "what are people reading" maybe?

fic length by fic type (category & ship): hp fandom stats

more statsy conversation in the @hpsaffics discord -- @siriusly-sapphic and I were wondering how fic length varied with popularity of ship. @toastystats' findings that het works tend to be longer than f/f and m/m came to mind, and I was reminded that I've been meaning to check if some of these v interesting findings are true for harry potter fic, specifically!

so anyway I did not do quite that but did something kind of related:

took the total number of works on AO3 (filtered for english only, no crossovers, wc>1, and otp:true), sorted by word count, and clicked through to get the word count of the ~10th* percentile fic, ~20th percentile fic, etc etc)

(*full disclosure: i used google sheet formulas to get the page number and took the word count of the first fic on that page. so, nth percentile work +/- 20 works.)

"F/F only" = F/F -F/M -M/M &c

"excl. top10" = excluded the top 10 ships, "excl. top 20" = did that and then did it again, which IK may not precisely be the top 20 ships but hey. the most common ships left were Prongsfoot, Linny, and Tomione, at ~1k works each out of 78.5k.

this above is the master graph, zoomed in versions below because the scale of that graph is impossible to actually read

'smooth line chart' went a little wonky on that last graph but

seems like the het ships DO tend to have long fics. feels like sevmione has a ton of both long (>20k) fic and midlength fic, and dramione has a lot of midlength (5-10k) fic, and jily more ~1-5k fic.

snarry has a lot of unusually short fics (<500, <1k words) that drag down the bottom-most part of the chart, but there's proportionally a lot of >20k longfic too. wolfstar surprisingly has much less >50k work than the other two mslash ships! in fact wolfstar & snarry have some real interesting contrasts going on there.

HP femslash is noticeably shorter than other types of works, ~30% shorter than mslash at every percentile and almost half the length of het works. the catch-up to mslash at the 99th percentile (or, conversely, drop-off of mslash?) is intriguing though!

brief observation re. third graph: interesting -- in the mid range at least, wolfstar looks/behave a lot more like a 'rarepair' (anything excluding the top 10 ships) than drarry, snarry, or even "M/M -F/F -F/M".

[mokutone]

Chouji for the ask game. Love your art and your blog

hehehe. i would love to talk abt him!!, and thank u!

answers under the cut!

favorite thing about them — i like that hes got like very little interest in being a shinobi. king of work life balance. king of having hobbies. king of not being as much of a bootlicker as he couldve been. hes also like. very cutely drawn? i love his eyes too. whenever we get an up close shot of him im like. ah. chōji... least favorite thing about them — this isnt abt chōji himself this is abt kishimoto's writing. im like furious at the fatphobia it rlly prevents me from engaging with chōji as much as i would be able to otherwise. like. ugh. i dont know like theres NO REASON for it. theres really never any reason for fatphobia, but like, in chōjis case specifically? when he's from one of the few REALLY important clans in konoha? and EVERYONE knows that the akimichi have immense power and that in order to use it they have to maintain a certain weight, so that they can burn it in battle? why would this be an issue!!! god. im so annoyed. literally thinking about this makes me insane.

favorite line —i cannot remember any notable chōji lines i think...i liked it most when he was simply lying beside shikamaru gazing at clouds. brOTP — shikamaru :) they're best buds :) OTP — again i dont rlly care about shipping. i dont think i see him interact enough with anyone for me to like. really. imagine him being in a relationship with anyone? that said, shikamaru + chōji are cute i guess, that kind of is where we see the most of his interactions nOTP —again i dont rlly see enough of his relationships to really have any strong feelings,

random headcanon — butterflies flock to him (and other members of the akimichi family), which shino finds absolutely fascinating. shinos like. definitely more of a beetle person than a butterfly person, but like u cant not notice when one of ur classmates steps outside and radically alters the migration of multiple species of insects. chōji thinks its fine, normal, cool, etc. he helps his dad set out the sugarwater or other supplies sometimes depending on how healthy the migration looks. its a whole thing

unpopular opinion —i don't know enough peoples opinions on chōji to know what opinions are popular and which ones arent, i guess? what opinions do people have on chōji... song i associate with them — maybe nightlights ii by nana grizol? idk its talking about kind of a longing for intimacy and a necessity to engage with but a shying from conflict that i feel like chōji would vibe with. i like this especially:

"The shy and lonely hunter Who stalks across my chest Says “I’m only seeking glory,” yeah But glory never gives you any— —Rest" . . . "So you step tender when you don’t run So you surrender to everyone So you remember the place you’ve come to Don’t forget the world adores you, said “I am but my body: heart and shaking skin.” How ever will you find a safe place where You never let anyone in— — to the space where you—"

favorite picture of them — im not sure...i cant find it. but there was def a part of naruto the og series where i got a close up on his face. and i was like. ah!!!! hes cute!

this one is also cute tho